


Five Steps to Falling in Love

by ilovehowyouletmefall



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-22 03:22:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/908305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovehowyouletmefall/pseuds/ilovehowyouletmefall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There isn’t supposed to be anything roundabout or reluctant about falling in love. But sometimes, that’s how it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Steps to Falling in Love

#1

"Hi, my name is Jenny Calendar," she said, standing in front of the staff of Sunnydale High."I'm the new computer science teacher. And, uh, three things about me..."  _I'm a technopagan, and a "gypsy," and I was sent here to guard a vampire with a soul._  "I like ice cream, long walks on the beach, and sappy romance movies." Her wry response was rewarded with a smattering of laughter from around the table.

Jenny sat down as the other new staff member took his turn.

"Rupert Giles, librarian," he said.  _Tall, sexy accent, and..._ Jenny took in his tweed suit, stripped tie, and glasses,  _and an incredible dork._  "I'm from England, and I, uh, enjoy cross-referencing and, um, not sharing undue amounts of information about myself."

The new librarian smiled to himself as he sat down, as if he thought he was funny. And to be fair, there were some muffled giggles from the rest of the staff.

Jenny was not among those trying to hide her laughter from Principal Flutie.

What a snob.

 

* * *

 

#2

So, she had to revise her opinion of Mr. Giles. He actually had some intelligent reasoning behind being so ridiculously old-fashioned. Which didn't make him any less ridiculous, but was kind of cute. He was plugged into the heavy supernatural vibe in Sunnydale -- unexpectedly cool. But he would disapprove of saying he was "plugged in" to anything. "On the same page," then. And, there were amusing ways to get under his skin beside annoying him. Like flirting.

"That's not where I dangle it."

Seeing the really-kinda-adorable expression of befuddlement cross Rupert's face, Jenny smiled to herself.  _Oh yeah. He so wants me._

 

* * *

 

#3

They'd only been on one date. And that was just for a laugh. Jenny hadn't especially planned on going out with him again, but Rupert had been so thrilled to be with her, and so easily flustered, and how could she get enough of that? He was the best thing to happen to her ego in years. And, to give him credit, he was kinda fun, in his own, incredibly dorky way. But fun was all it was ever supposed to be.

It's hard to keep things fun when you're barricaded in a library, under a surprise attack from a gang of vampires, when he gets ideas about doing something stupid and heroic. Things got serious really fast. It was difficult to express to Rupert how she suddenly wanted to hold on to him and keep him with her, so she just said, "be careful."

Later that night, Jenny thought that Rupert had a point about it being dangerous to hang around with him. In more ways than one.

 

* * *

 

#4

Jenny knew she'd been getting too involved. She'd come to Sunnydale to do a job, not to date, and not to fall - ... get attached to the highschool librarian. Of course it led to trouble. Jenny decided to focus on doing what she was sent to do, and to not think about how Angel saved her life, and to stay away from Rupert.

But then he made that difficult, hanging around, looking like a kicked puppy, eyes asking her to please get better so he won't have to feel guilty anymore. She didn't care if she wasn't being fair to him, it was his demon and he ought to feel guilty. Anyways, she had a job to do, and he'd only get in the way.

But then she saw Rupert's car on the way home one night, and she thought about how she shouldn't've gotten involved with him in the first place; she'd been leading him on from the start because she knew it would never work out. And then she'd been taking her frustration out on him, and it wouldn't hurt to be a little nicer to him, would it? So she parked her car and went looking for Rupert, planning to just apologize and then go home.

But then she shot him in the back with a crossbow. And he didn't seem to mind all that much, if it meant she was with him. And standing next to him, holding his arm, felt kinda  _right_. And what was she, some feudal-era girl bowing to the whims of patriarchy? Jenny Calendar was liberated and independent, and would date whomever she wanted to, and didn't care about what her family told her to do. At that moment her mind was clear, and Jenny felt lighter that she had in months, so much so that she had to laugh.

But then, when she got home Jenny saw the letter from her uncle on her desk, waiting to be read and answered. A nagging guilt started to rise in her stomach, and a vague sense that she would pay for her decision. It got worse as she tried to fall asleep, and was still there the next morning. As she went to the library to see how Rupert was doing, Jenny couldn't help but feel she was making a mistake.

But then he was kissing her, so she didn't care.

* * *

 

 

#5

Jenny had planned what she'd tell him. Telling him she loved him wasn't the plan. "Falling in love" was a cliche, that just gave you big, romantic expectations that would always be disappointed, Jenny knew. She thought she'd been in love before, and it was nothing like her relationship with Rupert. There wasn't supposed to be anything round-about or reluctant about falling in love. But in that moment, it was very clear to Jenny that she  _was_  in love.

Of course Jenny regretted saying it immediately. She'd never felt so exposed and vulnerable in her life. But he didn't throw it in her face; he was careful. It struck her that letting herself be vulnerable to someone else is what being in love means; and after she'd been so guarded for so long, he could -- if she was very, very lucky -- make it easy to let down her defences. So she didn't take it back.


End file.
